My Crazy Uncle Used to Tell Me… Part Trois

After a long hiatus – it’s time for more lessons from my crazy uncle.

  • Never put yarn in a toaster.
  • If at first you don’t succeed bring more pheasants.
  • Never play darts with a Canadian.
  • Play it cool when you’re wearing a smock.
  • Never put your finger where you would’t put your tongue.
  • Close your eyes when a pirate burps.
  • Never trust a doctor wearing gingham.
  • Don’t wear stirrups to a bris.
  • Never use your blinker when its raining.
  • Stay away from Guam during a leap year.
  • Never pay a compliment to a beggar.
  • Don’t get too carried away with a bilge pump.

Want more funny?  Check out Jim Gaffigan’s latest book – Food: A Love Story


About themacmind

Trying to stay creative in an often boring world (one post at a time)
This entry was posted in Comedy, Crazy Uncle, Fun, Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

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