After a long hiatus – it’s time for more lessons from my crazy uncle.
- Never put yarn in a toaster.
- If at first you don’t succeed bring more pheasants.
- Never play darts with a Canadian.
- Play it cool when you’re wearing a smock.
- Never put your finger where you would’t put your tongue.
- Close your eyes when a pirate burps.
- Never trust a doctor wearing gingham.
- Don’t wear stirrups to a bris.
- Never use your blinker when its raining.
- Stay away from Guam during a leap year.
- Never pay a compliment to a beggar.
- Don’t get too carried away with a bilge pump.
Want more funny? Check out Jim Gaffigan’s latest book – Food: A Love Story